


The Whole City Screams Your Name

by WaitingtoBloom



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Introspection, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Roscoe is a Good Boy, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 11:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30088077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaitingtoBloom/pseuds/WaitingtoBloom
Summary: Valtteri just wants to hold Lewis after a long day, but his own thoughts get in the way.
Relationships: Valtteri Bottas/Lewis Hamilton
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	The Whole City Screams Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be pure fluff, but somehow those darn insecurities got in the fic. No clue how, couldn't be me projecting lol Anyway please enjoy!

London’s city traffic was probably blaring beyond the penthouse windows, but the glass must have been worth whatever Lewis paid for the apartment because Valtteri couldn’t hear any of it. Of course, with the way Roscoe was going to town on a chew toy by his feet, he may not have heard the noise anyway. 

He’d been relaxing on the couch all evening, with just a magazine and Roscoe to keep his mind busy. Only momentarily pausing his endeavors to turn on the electric fireplace, for when Lewis got home of course. Personally, he didn’t think the apartment was even the slightest bit chilly, but apparently even London winters were too cold for Lewis. In fact, normally this time of year they’d be in Finland. Cuddling under thick blankets and nursing hot chocolates, isolated from the rest of the world. But sadly, the world needed Lewis more than either of them had expected. The city clambered for his attention, even in the off-season, which resulted in their trip north being scrapped this year. Instead Valtteri moved into Lewis’ high rise in the hopes of carving out a piece of the man’s attention for himself. 

Suddenly, a paw jabbed into his foot as Roscoe hurriedly got up from the couch, abandoning his toy to run for the front door. 

Valtteri listened to Lewis going through his routine like it was a serenade, predictable yet captivating every time. Dropping his keys in the bowl by the door, sliding off his shoes, opening the closet to hang up his winter coat, filtering in a few good boys to the tune of Roscoe’s tapping paws. He never wanted to ruin the song with his own voice, Lewis would always come find him. 

Sure enough, a few seconds later he felt Lewis’ lips press against his forehead. 

“Hey love.” 

Valtteri smiled and opened his eyes to see Lewis’ brown ones. 

“Hello Lew.” 

His lover walked around the back of the couch and immediately collapsed onto the sofa, plopping against Valtteri’s chest. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes, Lewis could be so dramatic when he wanted. He gently worked the hair tie out of Lewis’ hair though to let his braids fall free. Despite his theatrics he’d had a long day, and Valtteri knew he would appreciate a head massage. The resulting groan Lewis let out confirmed his suspicions. It also prompted Roscoe to hop off his owner’s lap to go curl up by the fireplace instead. Smart pup. 

“Did you have a long day?” he asked the man melting into his chest. 

“Mhmm,” Lewis hummed. 

“Did you eat?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Do you know how to answer a question without sounding like Kimi?”

“Mhm-” Lewis abruptly stopped and tilted his head up to glare at Valtteri. “That’s not fair you were distracting me with your fingers.” 

“I’m sorry but it was funny,” he chuckled, planting a kiss on the wrinkle in Lewis’ forehead. 

“Did you have a good day jokester?” Lewis questioned. 

He shrugged. “Pretty boring, Roscoe kept me company though.” 

“Good boy, I’ll give him some extra treats.” 

As Lewis shifted to get off the couch, his foot crunched Valtteri’s forgotten magazine that had been half hidden under a plush throw blanket. 

“Oh I’m sorry,” Lewis said, reaching to grab the magazine, and despite his career of choice, Valtteri did not have the reaction time to stop Lewis from seeing his own face on the cover of GQ. 

“This is...me,” Lewis muttered. Valtteri wished he could find some of that joking spirit again. 

“Why were you reading my magazine?” Lewis questioned further. 

And honestly Valtteri didn’t really know how to respond to that. Saying “ _because I love you_ ” felt too trite, but saying “ _because sometimes I miss you even when you’re right next to me_ ” felt too mushy, and saying “ _because sometimes I see the way you shine when you’re around other people and I can’t help but want to experience that magnificence myself, but I’m too afraid to ask for more of your attention because I know I’m not worthy of it_ ” well that would expose him more than he could handle. 

“Because you’re beautiful,” is what he settled on. And even though he whole-heartedly meant the words, they sounded hollow even to his own ears. 

Lewis shifted closer to him on the couch and lifted his chin with his fingertips. “I’m not mad Val, in fact I’m flattered, it’s just that you’ve never been one for empty flattery.” 

“It wasn’t empty,” he can’t help but mutter petulantly. 

“Right,” he said softly. “But it’s not the reason either… is it.” 

Valtteri let out a heavy sigh. This was supposed to be a nice relaxing evening between them, especially after Lewis’ long day, and he had gone and ruined it because of his own stupid thoughts. 

Lewis interlocked their fingers. “I’m not gonna force you to tell me Val, I just want you to know that you can.” 

Valtteri looked at their intertwined hands, now resting in Lewis’ lap. Realistically he knew that Lewis wouldn’t judge him, but he still found it difficult to say the words out loud. Some small, dark part of him was sure that if he admitted just how undeserving he felt of Lewis’ love, Lewis himself would finally see just how inadequate he was. And that terrified him. But right now, the thought of pushing Lewis away scared him even more. 

“I don’t know how to say the words,” he mumbled, “but I can show you.” 

He stood from the couch, pulling Lewis with him, and walked over to the floor to ceiling length windows. 

He positioned Lewis in front of him, almost pressed against the glass, while he hugged him from behind. Even at the late hour cars still zipped down the streets, and people still milled about. Friends stumbled down pavements, cyclists dashed across traffic, sirens blared on ambulances, all illuminated by the ever present luminescence that simply was the city. 

The kind of glow that Lewis emanated. 

“The city needs you. People crave your light, your success, your charm,” he spoke against Lewis’ head. “And I love how stunning you are,” he said, keeping him looking out the window. “It’s just sometimes I feel so guilty that you’re free to shine out there, but then you have to dull yourself when you come home to be with someone...like me,” he finished, meeting Lewis’ eyes in the reflection.

“My love,” Lewis said, not turning around to face him, but instead talking to the window as well, “You’ve got it all wrong, so wrong.” He brought one of the hands Valtteri had positioned on his waist up to his heart. “Look at all those people down there, do you know the difference between you and them? Hell, the difference between you and this whole city?” 

He just shook his head. 

“They don’t know me Val. They may know my story, my success, but they don’t know _me,_ not like you do,” he said, finally turning around to hold him. “They don’t know how grumpy I am in the mornings, and that only your coffee really wakes me up, they don’t know how hard I take failure, how I break down after bad races, they don’t know any of the little things that really define me. Do you know why? Because I only show those little things to you. I only shine for you Valtteri.” 

His chest suddenly felt too tight, too restrictive for his heart as Lewis’ words chased away the shadows that had been plaguing his mind. He had no words to say, there weren’t any left. So instead he held Lewis tighter to his chest and backed them away from the window. He didn’t need the bright lights of the city any more, he had Lewis, precious and glimmering in his arms. Where he had always wanted to be. 

“Are you done thinking ridiculous things about us?” Lewis mumbled into his neck. 

“Yes. Thank you for reminding me what’s important.” 

“We’re good for each other because we’re different Val. You can’t put me on a pedestal and then forget that the only reason I survive up there is because I have you bringing me back down to earth in here.” 

“You’re right and I know that. I’m sorry,” he said, kissing his forehead. 

“Not a problem. You talk me out of my head all the time. I’m happy to return the favor,” he smiled, but it was punctuated by a yawn. “What a long fucking day, what do you say to a shower and some sleep.” 

“Do I get to join you in the shower?” he questioned. 

“If you promise not to exhaust me further,” Lewis said, poking his chest. 

“I’ll do my best,” he smirked. 

“You’re a heathen,” he said rolling his eyes. “Roscoe come on boy it’s bed time,” he called to the napping bulldog, who shot up to trot along after them to the bedroom. “Next time you’re feeling down when I’m not here you should tell Roscoe, he’ll make the bad thoughts go away.” 

Valtteri looked down at the dog’s plump smiling face, four little teeth poking out at him. 

“Yeah you’re right,” he said, bending down to pet the big baby. “I think you’ve got more than enough light to chase away the darkness buddy.”

He looked at how Lewis lit up as he stared at the two of them, and whispered into Roscoe’s ear.

“But no one is as brilliant as your owner.” 

He stood up, and rushed toward a squealing Lewis to chase him into the bathroom, and thought that maybe now that he knew how loved he was, he could start working on chasing away his own darkness. 

**Author's Note:**

> Roscoe never got his treats :(  
> Thank you for reading! This was my first time writing Valtteri/Lewis so if you enjoyed please lmk :)


End file.
